ok, so your first and biggest issue is just a volume game. it takes 12-20 touches to get a response from cold outreach, 8-14 from warm outreach, and that’s before AI slop came in and ruined peoples trust in cold outreach. Linked in has even worse response rates. Do you have access to a CRM or sequencing platform that you can schedule messages out and make them multi channel and across a few weeks, building up to your offer.
You also need to define and offer, and your hook. The message you haven’t isn’t bad, it’s just further down funnel than your audience is on a first touch. Here is a great article (not by me) that helps break down how to sequence for results. 30mpc.com/newsletter/the-perfect-outbound-sequence-template
An offer doesn’t need to be a discount, but it needs to be meaningful and timely and solve a problem the are having at the moment (that’s the numbers game of volume of contacts matters).
Does that help?